Looking In

Dear You,

 I love You.

I watch You.

I watch Your life play like a movie.

It’s black and white though. I don’t get to see the color, because I am looking in.

Looking in at the happiness, the pain, the triumphs, the lessons.

Not a part of it.

Looking in.

A stranger.

You don’t know me. You don’t notice me. In fact, You can’t see me.

I don’t really exist.

Not without You.

So, here I am, trapped in this endless freescape, wandering, but always watching.

I see You smile and I want You to smile at me.

I hear You laugh and I wish it was for me.

I should go away, disappear.

What a waste of time, pining away like this.

You are so blind, so blissful. I can never be free but You don’t care.

I like to imagine You would if You could. 

I keep seeing You come towards me as if You want to tell me something.

But then You pass through me and carry on. You never seem to notice the moment when we collide. 

I run ahead after each moment, but every time is the same.

I have reached a sort of epiphany.

I no longer have any hope.

You can never reach me because we never existed. 

How sad.

How very sad.

I look at You and I know You so well.

It’s a shame You will never know me as well as I know You.

I want everything for You. 

I want the world for You.

I hope You get all that and more.

Please, for my sake and for Your sake, be wise.

After all, there is only one You.


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